The Messy, Beautiful Work of Becoming Yourself:

Becoming yourself is tender, messy, courageous work — and you don’t have to walk it alone. When we share our truth, our grief, and the parts we’re afraid to say out loud, we remind each other that we’re human, we’re resilient, and we’re capable of more healing than we realize. This is my story — and maybe, in some way, it’s yours too.

Becoming True to Yourself: The Courage to Listen, Question, and Live Aligned

The Quiet Beginning

This journey didn’t start yesterday. It began quietly, years ago — probably a good six years ago. And honestly, it started with a whisper I didn’t even know how to hear.

A Homecoming to Yourself

Then came my spiritual direction training, and something shifted in me in a way I still struggle to put into words. The first time it truly felt like a homecoming was while I was writing one of my papers. We had to explore our head, heart, and gut — not just think about things, but actually listen. And then write it down. And then read it out loud.

When I read those words back to myself, something soft and deep opened in my chest.It was like a child saying, yes… you hear me. You see me. You honor me. I felt an overwhelming sense of inner safety — a connection I had never had before. Not that I suddenly felt confident or certain, but there was a grounding, a knowing:a connection to myself that had been missing for years.

The Courage to Question Your Life

And that’s when I started asking the questions that would shape everything:Why do I do what I do? Why do I believe what I believe?Do my choices actually align with me — with my values — or am I following the patterns I inherited from family, friends, or society?

Sitting with these questions is uncomfortable at first. Really uncomfortable. You might discover that what’s “safe” or “normal” doesn’t feel right anymore. And then you’re faced with a choice: keep going with what everyone else expects — or start making choices that align with you.

Where Grief and Joy Meet

And that is where grief and joy meet. Because being true to yourself often means saying goodbye to who you were — or who you thought you had to be. Old routines shift. People around you might not understand, or they might resist your changes. Your life starts to look different, and that can hurt.

But here’s the other side: it feels amazing to honor your soul’s whisper. To really see yourself. To gently, kindly advocate for yourself. To create space where you feel safe inside your own skin. To build a relationship with YOU, and as corny as it sounds, to fall in love with yourself. That is a gift not just to you — but to everyone around you. When you feel grounded in yourself, it ripples outward.

The Body’s Wisdom and the Call Back to Healing

I know this because I’ve lived it.

I left a wonderful job as a social worker. It was steady, comfortable, and meaningful — and yet I felt this deep calling back to my roots, back to the hands-on healing work I had done as a massage therapist. I had experienced firsthand how the body can heal:cranial sacral therapy relieved horrific trigeminal neuralgia; Spinal Flow helped ease the pain of endometriosis and released emotions my body had been holding for years. Spiritual Direction allowed space for words to be spoken, received, and honored and it gently invited me back home to myself.

I had seen the brilliance of the body’s innate ability to heal, and I wanted to bring that gift to others.

The Leap — and the Vulnerability of Truth

So I took the leap. I started a business with no guarantee, no clients, no roadmap — only a truth inside me asking to be honored.

And here’s the part that feels vulnerable and hard to share: following your truth doesn’t mean everything falls into place.

People often say, “Follow your heart and the universe will support you.” (we think in the way that we want it to) But the reality is more like: “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.”

Even when you’re aligned, even when you’re doing everything “right,” things can still unravel.

And I’ll be honest — some days it feels like my business is unravelling. It’s embarrassing to say. It's incredibly scary. It’s uncomfortable to admit. You can have great reviews, do the "right" steps, show up wholeheartedly… and it still might not work out the way you imagined. And there is no way to sugar coat it (and we shouldn't try to sugar coat it or look for a silver lining)....it feels AWFUL when this happens.

Staying With Yourself When Everything Feels Messy

It’s in these moments that everything in you wants to shut down, hide, go back to what’s familiar. But honoring yourself also means honoring the grief. Letting yourself feel the fear. Letting yourself crumble a little so you can hear what needs tending.

And each time I do this, I come back to the same choice: Which direction am I going to go?How do I be with this fear? What is actually true for me right now?

For me, it means getting outside and moving my body. I walk out in my field and let the silence press gently against me. I feel the steadiness of the earth, the soft air, the weight of the sky. My dogs run around with this wild, uncomplicated joy — loving me for exactly who I am — and something in me unclenches.

Nature helps clear me. It helps me ground so I can hear my own voice again.

And still, it’s messy. Right now I feel like a snow globe that someone shook too hard — everything swirling, upside-down, unsettled. There is excitement and joy. There is empowerment. There is fear and vulnerability. There is confusion. There is grief and hope sitting side-by-side.

This is what becoming yourself actually looks like. Not clean or confident or linear — but Real. Honest. Human. Alive.

An Invitation Into Your Own Becoming

And here’s where I invite you in:

What whispers might your body be sending you today?

Why do you do what you do, or believe what you believe?

What would it feel like to honor your truth — even just a little — today?

Maybe there is a part of you waiting to be heard. A part you’ve quieted to keep the peace, to fit in, to be “easy,” to not rock the boat. A part of you that remembers who you are.

I wonder what would happen if you listened to it. If you allowed yourself to begin a relationship with you — gentle, curious, patient.

Because that is where everything begins. That is where your gifts come alive. That is where healing happens. That is where a life aligned with your heart — truly aligned — begins.

Closing Invitation

So today, I invite my fear, vulnerability, grief and uncertainty to the table and as I breathe and connect within, I try to open to feeling and hearing my inner truth/spirit, the one that is always there guiding me....wish me luck as it's much easier said than done lol!! If you’d like a fellow companion on the trail of becoming yourself, I’d be honored to hold space and support you.