Belonging to Myself

What if we allowed ourselves to be so different that we finally belong?

Can we imagine what it would be like to live outside of our social conditioning—free to live as empowered, free-thinking individuals? Every day we are told who we need to be in order to be loved and to belong, when in truth, the opposite is true. When we finally let go of who we think we should be, and begin walking our talk, we become free to live our lives more honestly and fully.

Self-inquiry: What truth within myself am I being called to honor? What part of me is stopping me from breaking free?

I recently turned 44, and this was the message on the card I drew when I asked what I should focus on for my 44th year. It felt promising and empowering—and yet also strangely out of reach. I already feel so different, and often like I don’t belong with many groups or people. So how could being more  of me actually help me belong?

It didn’t take long to realize this wasn’t about fitting in with society at all—it was about belonging to myself. That’s where the real power and freedom live.

Chasing Belonging Outside of Myself

Even with my Facebook posts—trying to advertise my work—I noticed how much I was shaping and reshaping myself to connect with different types of people. I would make posts, create ads, adjust my tone and wording, all in an effort to appeal to as many people as possible.

I was told I needed to post at least three times a week, create different kinds of content, and constantly stay visible if I wanted people’s attention and a successful business. And while I know this approach works for some, for me it felt exhausting, defeating, and deeply misaligned.

The more I tried to sell myself or change myself to be palatable, the less authentically I was showing up. Underneath it all was a quiet plea: please like this… please come see me.

I realized I would rather post less often and speak from a more honest, grounded place than constantly perform in hopes of recognition or business.

Belonging stopped feeling possible the moment I began performing instead of being.  Dropping the constant chasing—even though it goes against what I’m told I should  be doing to succeed—feels like a radical act of self-respect.

I’ll still share when it feels true, trusting that the people who are meant to find me will. I’m tired of chasing, tired of begging for recognition, and ready to let connection happen more naturally.

Redefining Success

Earlier this summer, I was incredibly busy—and I was proud of that. I believed busy meant successful. I even had a wait-list. I told myself, I’ve made it.

But it didn’t last long before my back went out and my body clearly regretted this pace and way of doing business.

I was proud because I was doing what other “successful” practitioners were doing. I had finally arrived—at least by society’s standards. In reality, I had completely distanced myself from and disrespected my body’s wisdom, needs, and guidance.

Being Guided, Even When It’s Uncomfortable

I know that I am being guided—even when I don’t fully understand the reason or the timing. Part of that guidance has meant moving from a waitlist to no list, and my ego really doesn’t like that.

This season has been incredibly vulnerable. It’s a roller coaster—one moment I feel grounded, trusting that how I’m showing up is  enough. The next moment, there’s a pit in my stomach and the old fears surface: You’re not enough. You’re not successful. You’re failing.

What I’m learning is that I have a choice. I can measure myself by society’s standards, or I can choose to stay aligned with my body, my values, and the way I want to show up. Part of what was stopping me from breaking free was the fear of not succeeding in the way the world defines success.

As I listen more closely to my body and spirit, I notice more ease and less pain—even without certainty. That response feels like quiet confirmation that this slower, more honest path matters. Allowing myself to be so different is inviting me to let go of expectations and say yes to myself—to honor the instincts and quiet whispers that have always been there, guiding and supporting me.

I am incredibly lucky to have a husband and parents who support and believe in me 100%. For so long, I wanted everyone else to see me the same way—to believe that what I offer is important and worthy. But instead of always looking outward and chasing the crowd, I’m learning to look at what I already have and to be deeply grateful.

Belonging in My Own Corner

Some people have no one in their corner. I am deeply aware of how fortunate I am to have the support of my husband and my parents, who believe in me wholeheartedly.

And just as meaningful, I have come to recognize that I also have myself. I am showing up for me—listening, advocating, and choosing alignment over approval. That recognition has been profoundly transformative.

Belonging, I’m realizing, isn’t something I need to earn or be granted. It comes from recognizing myself, trusting my own presence, and knowing I am here supporting me.

I deeply appreciate the small number of people who come to see me regularly—those who believe in the work, in healing, and in themselves.

I feel grateful that I’ve been able to receive education and experience through social work, spiritual direction, and various body-based modalities including spinal flow, cranialsacral thearpy, massage, and BodyTalk. This work is something I’m deeply trained in and committed to—but it’s meant for those few who feel genuinely called to this kind of healing and exploration. Thank you to them.

It is such a gift to witness people truly show up, surrender, and allow themselves to come home to their bodies, their wisdom, and their healing.

Success no longer means how busy I am—it means how true I am.

Self-inquiry: What truth within yourself are you being called to honor right now? And what part of you might be gently asking for permission to break free?

Maybe belonging was never about finding the right place in the world—maybe it has always been about finding our way back to ourselves.